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nnomads
Golf Club |
PRESS
RELEASE:
The Cardinal released the following
statement
to the
media following his Melbourne Cup Cup win.
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The Cardinal holding his |
"Big Thanks to The
Seale Bros for their continued sponsorship of this long running event -
well done to Pup & The Bull ... The Tradition Lives On!" "It was great to finally get that smelly monkey off the ecclesiastical
back ... the bridesmaid tag was starting to wear a little ... no, A LOT thin!
Mind you ... I still don't get the whole stupid Callaway thing!" "I knew it was a great opportunity that couldn't be
missed ... "Carpe Diem" I thought to myself whilst stalking the car
park before the game. With the continued absence of Curtis
and his limp wrist, The Judge snoozing-in and Slugger Vas fulfilling his
conjugal obligations ... the doorway was left slightly ajar. It opened fully wide
when Barlow The Burglar failed to front! ... He's the one you've really
got to watch out for when The Majors come around! ... Weedy little
Demons supporter ... lives the quiet life up the country ... only to breeze
into town in his exotic, taxpayer funded, luxurary Government car ... and his
outrageous handicap ... to plunder yet another prize!" "The turning point happened about the sixth hole ... I'd
been struggling with a tight groin ... desperate measures for desperate
times were required ... I couldn't let the opportunity slip ... so it was,
down with the dacks, out with the Extra Strength Dencorub HeatGel ... and
into the boxer-shorts for a quick rub down. The relief was immediate ...
problem was the boxers ... oh sweet Jesus mother of Christ! ... deliver
unto me a set of jocks ... even some smelly old Y-fronts!!! The upper
right groin, does of course, come into close contact ... with the right
testicle! No pain - no gain!" "Overcoming the problematic groin was one thing ...
coping with the intense testicular discomfort, was another
thing ... but, (my) The Cardinal's greatest triumph was based upon
his (my) steely determination to not let the relentless sledging from
his playing partners "Bull" Seale, "Stiffy"
Viagra & "Titch" Thomas rattle my cage." "All that awaits now for 2010 is a decisive handicap
win in one of the two reaming Majors! ... Bummer is, sitting fourth
behind Teflon Harry, Pup Seale & Mad Mitchell ... means my chances
of becoming Club Champion for 2010 are pretty well totally rooted! Our
(Victorians) only hope is that, the little "Pup" himself, can
stiffen up and snag a couple of sub-70 scores to prevent The Heathen
From The West - Mitchell from winning the freaking thing!" "Next year we make it the best of six scores to see
off those Non-Victorian scuzz-suckers says (me) ...” The Cardinal |
Last year’s winner Steph presenting the
Melbourne Cup Cup Cup to Fango
as event sponsors ‘De SealBros’ look on.
