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nnomads
Golf Club |
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Winner on Handicap: Date: Course: Competitors: On course coverage: Prize winners: |
Markus Octavious 29th September 2023 Yarra Bend |
Standardised Event Report: ‘Octavious victorious around the bend’ |
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September 29th
2023: Well,
the 2nd triggered major for 2023 was held at Yarra Bend in
magnificent weather on a course in pretty shabby
condition. The start of the event was hard to describe with Freddie Five
Iron having to withdraw at the 1st tee (after an altercation
with the pro shop staff), and TJ not even making it to the 1st tee
(said to be after a hard night and not being able to get out of bed). |
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That meant
that the potentially excellent 11 player turnout was reduced to 9 very keen
competitors who stepped onto the first tee, creating only what could be
described as a [insert preferred adjective] field. Preferred adjective alternatives – 1) Impressive, 2) Top class, 3)
Sensational, 4) Magnificent and 5) Awe-inspiring: After some
quick adjustments, the first onto the tee in Group 1 were the Hanging
Judge, The Bloke and Curtis closely followed by Thombei the Mist, Slugger, and Billy Bob
Thornton in the 2nd
group, with Stavros the Greek, Nurse Min and Markus Octavious in the final group. With such an elite field like this, it was
clearly going to be a [insert preferred adjective] competition (see TM2 2023 Player Groups). |
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Pure quality on course: And that is exactly how it turned out with a truly a [Rotate from list of preferred adjectives] display of how to play competition golf. Perfect examples included
Curtis’s [Rotate from list of preferred adjectives] NTP on the 1st, Stavros the Greek’s [Rotate from list of preferred adjectives] NTPs on the 5th and 7th and his [Rotate from list of preferred adjectives] Longest drive on the 15th, and Markus Octavious’s
[Rotate from list of preferred adjectives] NTP on the 13th. It is fair to say that the
adoring gallery got their money’s worth that day (see On Course in TM2 2023). |
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Octavious victorious: At the end of the day, it was a clear result with Markus
Octavious (101,35,66) four
under the card, and 3 strokes in front of 2nd place getter Stavros the Greek (90,21,69) with Nurse Min (101,28,73) a further four strokes
behind in 3rd place. It should be noted that the finishing field
was smaller than at the start after the Hanging Judge bailed on the 17th
tee so as to be in time for dinner with friends. “The
game was too long - it wasn't fairly slow - it was
the slowest pace of golf I've ever played. A disgrace to charge $50 bucks to
over book like that. The group on the 17 rh tee when I left was 4 Fuckwit boguns who Literally couldn't
play, possibly their first golf outing. They were part of the holdup. Anyway just couldn't wait at that pace to then have to
skip drinks and fly back home” explained the Judge by text later that day
(See detailed results below). Celebrations and
presentations: Hence, the presentations in the
car park were a [Rotate from list of preferred
adjectives] celebration of Markus Octavious’s [Rotate from list
of preferred adjectives] sensational performance. “Thank
you linesmen, thankyou ball boys… “ started out the newly crowned champion as he was
presented with the Triggered Major trophy for 2023 or at least until the last
Triggered Major (see Photos of TM2 2023 presentations and TM2 2023 winners
speech). |
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The Club
committee congratulates Octavious on
his [Rotate from list of preferred adjectives] win and indeed all other winners on the day. The committee
also reminds members that the next major event in 2023 is the Melbourne Cup Cup, to be run on Melbourne Cup Day. So, book early and see you there. |
Detailed Results
TRIGGERED MAJOR 2 – 2023
Player |
Gross |
HCP |
Net |
Prizes |
Marcus
Octavious |
101 |
35 |
66 |
1st
on nnomads handicap, NTP |
Stavros
the Greek |
90 |
21 |
69 |
2nd on nnomads
handicap, 2 x NTP and LD |
Nurse
Min |
101 |
28 |
73 |
3rd place on nnomads
handicap |
The
Bloke |
88 |
13 |
75 |
Best off the stick |
Curtis |
92 |
15 |
77 |
NTP |
Slugger |
101 |
22 |
79 |
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Thombei the
Mist |
104 |
21 |
83 |
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Billy
Bob Thornton |
107 |
23 |
84 |
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This month’s competition: What was Freddie Five Iron’s excuse for not
playing again?