nnomads Golf Club

The ‘Western Australian Invitational Tournament’ 2014

Winner on Handicap: Date: Course: Competitors: On course coverage: Prize winners:

Mild Colonial Boy 14^th July 2014 Royal Freemantle Golf Club Player groups WAIT 2014 On course at the WAIT 2014 WAIT presentations 2014

El Cardinale’s Encyclical Maximums Event Report:

Executive summary: Mild Colonial Boy, on his home course, (predictably) smashed the Stroke Play & Stableford events leaving The Maroon Breasted Warbler & The Cardinal to wrestle for some minor places ... whilst Billy, Mineral Mick & Nurse Min had lots of fun as they filled out the field. The VICTORIANS beat The NON-VICTORIANS for the Yarra-Yralba-Tequila-Challange-Cup. Yee Haaar!

Royal Freemantle Golf Club, WA – Home of the W.A.I.T.

July 11^th – 14^th, 2014: The W.A.I.T. was played over a six day visit to the West Coast in brutally unforgiving, cold & difficult Fremantle conditions. Accommodation at The Trafford Street Hilton was elemental, the natives’ were friendly ... the beds were warm, the hot water hot, the fridge cold and the crappers flushed. The sustenance was much and varied and the red wine voluminous and plentiful ... a true test of endurance not for the feeble & faint hearted! The W.A.I.T. was a 36 hole competition played at The Royal Fremantle Golf Club on Friday 11 & Monday 14. Stroke & Stableford competitions were played. A three ball, best ball, Ambrose team event was played at Freo Public on the Saturday.

Six players (Mild Colonial Boy, Nurse Min, Billy, Mineral Mick, The Maroon Breasted Warbler and The Cardinal) competed both events (see WAIT player groups 2014). Still and sunny conditions prevailed on the Friday. Following a brutal maritime West Coast cool change/cold front on the Sunday night ... a sunny, windy day with a few passing showers was enjoyed on the Monday. The Royal Fremantle Golf Club course is a long and open, well treed, 6.5 on the undulation scale, perfectly maintained & presented layout ... a true golfing delight. The hundreds of 3 metre tall black boys (grass trees) present a spectacular local landscape feature. (= It’s very nice! – see on and off the course at the WAIT 2014)

THE W.A.I.T. – STROKEPLAY TROPHY

As expected, the event host, “Muammar Gaddafi” (Mild Colonial Boy) playing off an unbelievably, extremely generous 20 on his home course ... put everybody to the sword & won the STROKE PLAY trophy ... gross 93 + 91 = 72. “Kemal Ataturk” (Maroon Breasted Warbler) off 28 followed with 107 + 113 = 82 ... & “The Cardinal” off 25 with 110 + 108 = 84. The other competitor’s (“Nurse Min”, “King Billy” & “Mineral Mick”) mobile telephone number like contributions are best left unmentioned!

THE W.A.I.T. – STABLEFORD TROPHY

After hours of painstaking forensic lead pencil work (transcribing messy cards onto other cards and then onto sheets of subsequently shiraz soaked butchers paper, thanks Nurse Min!, etc) ... King Billy “Bomber” ... finally came up with a tediously calculated result for the STABLEFORD trophy. Predictably, given the above Strokeplay numbers ... Mild Colonial Boy again headed the board (34 + 34) = 68 ... followed by The Cardinal (28 + 26) = 54 ... and The Maroon Breasted Warbler (24 + 28) = 52, etc.

The event host (Mild Colonial Boy) decreed that the STABLEFORD trophy was to be awarded to the second place getter (The Cardinal) ... which was met with some scepticism and disbelief from the second place getter ... who, being slightly affected and unaware of his surroundings and the above forensic shenanigans ... accepted said trophy. Despite protestations by the second place getter, to the first place getter, the following morning after the “Fog Of War” had lifted ... the second place getter did reluctantly accept possession of the W.A.I.T. - STABLEFORD TROPHY - 2014.

The Cardinal snared the N.T.P & L.D. on the Friday. King Billy took out the N.T.P. and fittingly Mild Colonial Boy smashed the L.D. up & over the 18th on the Monday (see WAIT presentations 2014)

THE W.A.I.T. - YARRA-YRALBA-TEQUILA-CHALLANGE-CUP (Est. 1989 at The Uralba C.C.)

A “Three Ball, Best Ball, Inter-State Based, Full-on Ambrose Team Based Fist Fight” was played between THE VICTORIANS (MBW, The Cardinal & Nurse Min) v. THE NON-VICTORIANS (Mild, Mineral Mick & King Billy) at Fremantle Public on the Saturday. This followed a booze filled “Cultural Day of Rest” on the Sunday to allow for necessary athletic recuperation. (Big thanks to our new Freo based sponsors ... The Little Creatures Brewery!) Anyway, and more importantly than anything else which happened over the entire journey ... The VICTORIANS ... spanked ... that’s SPANKED ... as in yes ... SPANKED big time ... The NON-VICTORIANS to win the much coveted YARRA-YRALBA-TEQUILA-CHALLANGE-CUP! Oh the utter under-dog-glory ... a focused, determined, strategic team effort ... GO VICS!

Now ... setting aside any feeble-minded, narcissistic, parochial inter-state rivalry ... Your Cardinal does not in any way seek to suggest that he has ever, does now, or ever will, understand how all this “mumbo-jumbo” golf calculation stuff works. All he can do is refer to the following scribble inscribed by “King Billy” himself on the “Shiraz Stained Papyrus”! ... (see attached pictorial evidence!)

The visitors would like to acknowledge and thank their hosts Mild, Mineral Mick and The Nun ... and apologise to the neighbours. A special “big up you” thanks is also extended to the local Fremantle Constabulary who did, in a most civil and polite manner, thankfully put an end to “band practice” on the Saturday night!

Yours ... Ecclesiastically ... El Cardinale Fandangolini.

P.S. – Message for Mild Colonial Boy... the shopping trolley is hidden in the garage behind the pool table ... suggest you ditch it quick smart fella before The Ranger knocks on your front door and issues you with a Municipal Infringement Notice! Also, has the black cat recovered?

Detailed Results

The ‘Western Australian Invitational Tournament’ 2014

Players – Round 1	Gross	HCP	Net	Stableford points
Mild Colonial Boy	93	20	73	34
Maroon Breasted Warbler	107	28	79	28
Nurse Min	130	35	95	17
The Cardinal	110	26	84	26
King Billy	120	25	95	20
Mineral Mick	108	26	82	26
Players – Round 2	Gross	HCP	Net	Stableford points
Mild Colonial Boy	91	20	71	34
Maroon Breasted Warbler	113	28	85	24
Nurse Min	124	35	89	23
The Cardinal	108	26	82	28
King Billy	120	25	95	22
Mineral Mick	123	26	97	19

Yarra Yralba Tequila Challenge Cup 2014

Team	Prizes
Nurse Min, Maroon Breasted Warbler and The Cardinal	Teams winners by 1.3 strokes
King Billy, Mild Colonial Boy and Medicine Mick	2^nd place

Player groups WAIT 2014

On course at the WAIT 2014

WAIT presentations 2014

This month’s competition: What stained the WAIT score cards and why?