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     nnomads Golf Club

The ‘Victorian Open Masters Invitational Tournament’ 2014

 

 

Winner on Handicap:

Date:

Course:

Competitors:

On course coverage:

Prize winners:

 

Slugger

9th June 2014

Ringwood Golf Course

Player groups VOMIT 2014

On course at the VOMIT 2014

VOMIT presentations 2014

 

 

Event Report:

‘Slugger runs rings around wood
while KnobHeads do their worst’

June 9th 2014: Once again the weather was kind for the annual running of the Victorian Open Masters Invitational Tournament, this year at the fabulous Ringwood Golf Course in Ringwood Victoria. “Now hold on author … I protest at the use of word ‘fabulous’ in the same sentence as ‘Ringwood GC’. That’s a low credibility and inaccurate description in anyone’s language” suggested Curtis as soon as he read the previous line. And he wasn’t the only player to complain about the choice of course albeit a futile topic to discuss with event sponsor The Cardinal who was not particularly interested in complaints prior to, during or after the event. “Look it’s cheap, 10 minutes from my home and 2 minutes off the freeway. Those girls don’t have to compete… It’s their choice to turn up….” emphasised a dismissive Cardinal in no mood to debate the topic. Note: The Cardinal in fact described the situation in slightly different language to that reported here. However, for the purposes of readability the author has taken some licence……

Individual and teams event: As is the case every year, the competition included both an individual competition (The VOMIT) and a Teams competition (The nnomads GONADS Teams Cup). And indeed the teams in 2014 were newly formed consisting of Team 1 -  Cardinal & The Fanginas (Curtis, The Cardinal and Stavros the Greek), Team 2 - Steph & The Sphincter Brothers (The Bloke, Rubber Man and Freddie Five Iron), and Team 3 – Pup & The KnobHeads (Pup, Slugger and Nurse Min). This meant that all competitors had a fresh view of the 2014 event with no baggage from past years particularly as the Greek-Bloke Dogs had won the event two years in a row. “If we can’t beat them then break them up” smiled the Cardinal explaining his team strategy for the 2014 event (see VOMIT player groups 2014).

Quality on and off the course: Just reading the list of competitors set up an expectation in the minds of the gallery and it is fair to say that the ensuing performances didn’t disappoint. This was in part because the course was in fact in excellent condition for a mid Melbourne winter event setting up a great environment for a fiercely fought competition. Perfect examples of brilliant play on the day included Freddie’s NTP on the fifth, The Cardinal’s longest drive on the 6th, Curtis’s NTP on the 8th and longest drive on the 14th and The Blokes’ longest drive on the 16th (see on and off the course at the VOMIT 2014).

Slugger runs rings around them: However, there was one truly standout performer on the day who produced an 8 stroke under the card performance to easily take out the individual VOMIT competition. That player was Slugger (85,23,62) who ran rings around the rest of the competition winning by nine strokes from The Bloke (90,19,71) in second place, and Rubber Man (96,23,73) a further two strokes behind. “Truly outstanding” confirmed The Cardinal as he passed Slugger the traditional mug of VOMIT for the newly crowned champion to consume during the presentations. And it would be no surprise to readers that Slugger also ended up with Best-Off-The-Stick further reinforcing his superior performance on the day.

KnobHeads get GONADS: And it would be no surprise to readers that Slugger’s Team – Pup & The KnobHeads (Pup, Slugger and Nurse Min) took out the team’s event on the day. “As team Captain, I am proud to accept the team trophy once again albeit with a new and fabulous team. Being a member of the last three winning teams you can see the common thread ….” started out Team Captain Pup before being drowned out by the cheering gallery and media scrum trying to get a comment from a humble Slugger now adorned with multiple trophies and prizes for his efforts on the day (see VOMIT 2014 presentations). “I’d like to thank the sponsors and Agnes and the ball boys….” started out Slugger as the media jostled for position in front of the 2014 VOMIT champion (see 2014 VOMIT champion speech). And indeed everyone was listening to the new champion who had just delivered his best round of competition golf ever.  

The Club committee congratulates Slugger on his truly sensational individual performance and of course Pup & The KnobHeads for their convincing nnomads GONADs Teams Cup performance. The Committee also thanks The Cardinal for putting on yet another memorable event illustrating that the quality of the course does not impact on the quality of the outcome. 

Detailed Results

The ‘Victorian Open Masters Invitational Tournament’ 2014

Player

Gross

HCP

Net

Prizes

Slugger

85

23

62

Winner on nnomads GC handicap and best off the stick

The Bloke

90

19

71

2nd place and NTP

Rubber Man

96

23

73

3rd place

Nurse Min

111

35

76

 

Curtis

96

19

77

Longest drive and NTP

The Cardinal

102

25

77

Longest drive

Freddie Five Iron

114

36

78

NTP

Pup

99

20

79

 

Stavros the Greek

121

27

94

 

 

nnomads GONADS Team Cup 2014                                                                                                                          

Team

Gross

HCP

Net

Prizes

Pup & The Knobheads

216

78

138

Teams winners

Steph & The Sphincter Brothers

222

78

144

 

Cardinal & The Fanginas

248

71

177

 

 

 

Player groups VOMIT 2014

On course at the VOMIT 2014

VOMIT presentations 2014

VOMIT Champion Speech

 

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This month’s competition: Why does Curtis dislike Ringwood GC so much?