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nnomads
Golf Club |
The ‘Victorian Open Masters Invitational
Tournament’ 2014
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Winner on Handicap: Date: Course: Competitors: On course coverage: Prize winners: |
Slugger 9th June 2014 Ringwood Golf Course |
Event Report: ‘Slugger runs rings around wood June 9th 2014: Once
again the weather was kind for the annual running of the Victorian Open
Masters Invitational Tournament, this year at the fabulous Ringwood Golf
Course in Ringwood Victoria. “Now hold
on author … I protest at the use of word ‘fabulous’ in the same sentence as
‘Ringwood GC’. That’s a low credibility and inaccurate description in
anyone’s language” suggested Curtis
as soon as he read the previous line. And he wasn’t the only player to
complain about the choice of course albeit a futile topic
to discuss with event sponsor The
Cardinal who was not particularly interested in complaints prior to,
during or after the event. “Look it’s
cheap, 10 minutes from my home and 2 minutes off the freeway. Those girls
don’t have to compete… It’s their choice to turn up….” emphasised a
dismissive Cardinal in no mood to
debate the topic. Note: The
Cardinal in fact described the situation in slightly different language to that
reported here. However, for the purposes of readability the author has taken
some licence…… Individual and teams
event: As is the case every year, the
competition included both an individual competition (The VOMIT) and a Teams
competition (The nnomads GONADS Teams Cup). And
indeed the teams in 2014 were newly formed consisting of Team 1 - Cardinal
& The Fanginas (Curtis, The Cardinal and
Stavros the Greek), Team 2 - Steph
& The Sphincter Brothers (The Bloke, Rubber Man and Freddie Five
Iron), and Team 3 – Pup & The KnobHeads (Pup, Slugger and Nurse Min). This meant
that all competitors had a fresh view of the 2014 event with no baggage from
past years particularly as the Greek-Bloke
Dogs had won the event two years in a row. “If we can’t beat them then break them up” smiled the Cardinal explaining his team
strategy for the 2014 event (see VOMIT
player groups 2014). Quality on and off the
course: Just reading the list of competitors set
up an expectation in the minds of the gallery and it is fair to say that the
ensuing performances didn’t disappoint. This was in part because the course
was in fact in excellent condition for a mid Melbourne winter event setting
up a great environment for a fiercely fought competition. Perfect examples of
brilliant play on the day included Freddie’s
NTP on the fifth, The Cardinal’s
longest drive on the 6th, Curtis’s
NTP on the 8th and longest drive on the 14th and The Blokes’ longest drive on the 16th
(see on and off the course at the
VOMIT 2014). Slugger runs rings around them: However, there was one truly standout performer on the day
who produced an 8 stroke under the card performance to easily take out the
individual VOMIT competition. That player was Slugger (85,23,62) who ran rings around
the rest of the competition winning by nine strokes from The Bloke (90,19,71) in second place, and Rubber Man (96,23,73) a further two strokes behind. “Truly outstanding” confirmed The Cardinal as he passed Slugger the traditional mug of VOMIT
for the newly crowned champion to consume during the presentations. And it
would be no surprise to readers that Slugger
also ended up with Best-Off-The-Stick further reinforcing his superior performance
on the day. KnobHeads get GONADS: And it would be no surprise
to readers that Slugger’s Team – Pup
& The KnobHeads (Pup, Slugger and Nurse
Min) took out the team’s event on the day. “As team Captain, I am proud to accept the team trophy once again
albeit with a new and fabulous team. Being a member of the last three winning
teams you can see the common thread ….” started out Team Captain Pup before being drowned out by the
cheering gallery and media scrum trying to get a comment from a humble Slugger now adorned with multiple
trophies and prizes for his efforts on the day (see VOMIT 2014 presentations). “I’d like to thank the sponsors and Agnes and
the ball boys….” started out Slugger
as the media jostled for position in front of the 2014 VOMIT champion (see 2014 VOMIT champion speech).
And indeed everyone was listening to the new champion who had just delivered
his best round of competition golf ever. The Club committee congratulates Slugger on his truly sensational individual performance and of
course Pup & The KnobHeads for their convincing nnomads
GONADs Teams Cup performance. The Committee also thanks The Cardinal for putting on yet another memorable event
illustrating that the quality of the course does not impact on the quality of
the outcome. |
Detailed Results
The ‘Victorian Open Masters Invitational Tournament’ 2014
Player |
Gross |
HCP |
Net |
Prizes |
Slugger |
85 |
23 |
62 |
Winner on nnomads GC handicap and
best off the stick |
The
Bloke |
90 |
19 |
71 |
2nd
place and NTP |
Rubber
Man |
96 |
23 |
73 |
3rd
place |
Nurse
Min |
111 |
35 |
76 |
|
Curtis |
96 |
19 |
77 |
Longest
drive and NTP |
The
Cardinal |
102 |
25 |
77 |
Longest
drive |
Freddie
Five Iron |
114 |
36 |
78 |
NTP |
Pup |
99 |
20 |
79 |
|
Stavros
the Greek |
121 |
27 |
94 |
|
nnomads GONADS Team Cup 2014
Team |
Gross |
HCP |
Net |
Prizes |
Pup & The Knobheads |
216 |
78 |
138 |
Teams winners |
Steph
& The Sphincter Brothers |
222 |
78 |
144 |
|
Cardinal
& The Fanginas |
248 |
71 |
177 |
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This month’s competition: Why does Curtis dislike Ringwood GC so much?