WEEKLY COMPETITION

nnomads Golf Club

‘Weekly Competition 2013’

Latest weekly results – 2013
Date: 17/12/2013 Course: Growling Frog, Yan Yean, Victoria
The Hanging Judge – Winner on nnomads handicap	‘The Judge Presides’ In the end only three players turned up on that fabulous day at the Growling Frog for the weekly competition. And those contenders were The Hanging Judge, Stavros the Greek and Curtis who were all happy they came on the day. After all, the course was in perfect condition and the weather sublime. It is fair to say it was pretty close for the first nine holes or at least Curtis and the Judge were pretty close. And then the Judge took control over proceedings driving home his advantage to the last hole. The results showed The Hanging Judge (100,24,76) took out the event by 6 strokes over Curtis (103,21,82), a convincing win under the circumstances. The Judge also took out the NTP, giving him all of the bladder points available that week (see updated Bladder) while the handicaps remained unchanged (see latest handicaps). The committee congratulates The Hanging Judge on an impressive performance and reminds members of PG Woodhouse who famously said “To find a man’s true character, play golf with him."
Previous weekly results – 2013
Date: 11/10/2013 Course: Centenary Park Golf Club, Frankston, Victoria
Stavros the Greek – Winner on nnomads handicap Don Johnson and The Bloke equal second – NTP	‘Greek Centenery Celebrations’ Nobody had played the Centenary Park Golf Club course in Frankston rated as one of the best public golf courses in Melbourne (well at least according to their website). Hence, The Bloke, Stavros the Greek, Rubber Man and Don Johnson were somewhat surprised at the lovely long fairways and close cut greens. “It’s our last chance to prepare for the BIT next week” reinforced The Don as he teed off on the first. As it was, The Don in fact played well after his multiple games in Hawaii in the previous few weeks. But it was Stavros (106,30,76) who piped him at the post by a single stroke. And to make things worse, The Bloke (103,22,81) ) equalled The Don (102,21,81) putting them both into equal second place. This mean Stavros took the major bladder points (see updated Bladder) while the handicaps remained as they were (see latest handicaps). The committee congratulates Stavros on another winning performance and reminds members of William Wordsworth who famously said “Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness."
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Date: 13/09/2013 Course: Yering Meadows, Yering, Victoria
Thombei The Mist – Winner on nnomads handicap Stavros The Greek – NTP	‘Mist all over the Valley’ So the ‘$27 green fee with cart and a free beer deal’ was again enough to motivate Thombie The Mist, The Bloke and Stavros the Greek to journey out to Yering Meadows at the gateway to the beautiful Yarra Valley for a second week in a row. The weather bureau said there was an 80% chance of rain which in consumer speak, meant it was likely to be dry all day, which it was, setting up the perfect scenario for the weekly competition. The course this week was ‘The Valley’ which involved playing holes 10 through 27 on this 27 hole course. Unlike last week, the order of merit didn’t change all day. The Mist was leading The Bloke by two strokes at the turn and maintained his lead right through to the end of the round. In fact Misty (102,25,77) increased his lead over The Bloke (106,22,84) and Stavros (111,29,82) during the 2^nd nine to take out the competition is a very convincing way. This meant that Thombei took out the major Bladder points for the week although Stavros got a ball for NTP after a most unusual ‘worm burner’ on the 22^nd hole (see updated Bladder). Members should note that handicaps have changed in recent weeks with a number of players going out just prior to the ‘majors’ season (see latest handicaps).The committee congratulates Thombei on a very convincing performance and reminds members of Gerald R Ford who famously said “The most important shot in golf is the next one."
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Date: 6/09/2013 Course: Yering Meadows, Yering, Victoria
Stavros – Winner on nnomads handicap Misty – NTP	‘Mediocre is good enough for Stavros at the Meadows’ It was clear that Thombie The Mist wasn’t interested driving down to the peninsular again so it was up to Don Johnson to drive up to Yering Meadows. Fortunately, the $27 green fee with cart and a free beer deal was enough to motivate the Don combined with free accommodation and a meal at Chez Mist. That set the scene for a three way weekly competition when Stavros the Greek was roped in to fill out the numbers. Well Yering Meadows was in lovely condition, except for the dew on the greens which stayed there all day and really slowed down the putting. So between the ever present water and the ever present dew it was a challenging game. Thombei was leading at the turn by quite some strokes before The Don came back and stepped into the lead. Thombie came back taking out a sensational NTP before they both collapsed in the last five holes leaving Stavros (109, 29, 80), well in front of them both – The Mist (111,25,86), The Don (113,21,92). This meant Stavros and Thombie took out the Bladder points (see updated Bladder) while the handicaps again were pretty much unchanged (see latest handicaps).The committee congratulates Stavros his fifth win in a row and reminds members of Billy Graham who famously said “The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course."
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Date: 1/09/2013 Course: Growling Frog, Yan Yean, Victoria
Stavros – Winner on nnomads handicap and NTP	‘Greek Curbs Curtis on his Triumpant Return’ Father’s day 2103 and what should fathers be doing on father’s day? Playing golf of course claimed Curtis on the phone when trying to persuade Stavros to journey out to the Frog for a Sunday afternoon game. And who could fault such logic you may well ask? Stavros certainly couldn’t. So that set up the Curtis come back game. Yes after months and months of convalescing and no golf, Curtis stepped onto the first tee to see what he could do. And while his first shot didn’t go that well, his contact proved to be excellent for most of the game. In fact it was almost like the Curtis of old. And if it wasn’t for his somewhat poor putting, he may have beaten Stavros (101,29,72) but he didn’t (101,22,79). This meant The Greek took the Bladder points once again (see updated Bladder) while the handicaps remained the same (see latest handicaps).The committee congratulates Stavros his fourth win in a row and reminds members of Michael Jordan who famously said “For a competitive junkie like me, golf is a great solution because it smacks you in the face every time you think you have accomplished something."
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Date: 30/08/2013 Course: Ringwood GC, Ringwood, Victoria
Stavros – Winner on nnomads handicap	‘Stavros staves off Don in the wood’ Well it was down market this week as Stavros and the Don decided to slum it at Ringwood GC. But that was the worst of it because the weather was perfect and the course surprisingly in good condition albeit with very slow greens (well compared to Moonah Links at least). And it was fair to say that neither player was particularly fast out of the blocks. But that didn’t matter because as you would expect neither player was going to let the golf get in the way. There was only a stroke between them at the turn before Stavros took out the NTP on the 12^th hole with a sensational 25 foot Birdie putt. Then The Don came back with a vengeance to outpace The Greek for the rest of the round making it a very close encounter overall. But it was Stavros (99,29,70) who prevailed edging out the Don (95,21,74) by a couple of strokes. This meant The Greek took the Bladder points (see updated Bladder) while the handicaps remained unaffected (see latest handicaps).The committee congratulates Stavros his third week in a row and reminds members of A.A. Milne who famously said “Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad."
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Date: 26/08/2013 Course: Moonah Links (Open Course), Fingal, Victoria
The Greek – Winner on nnomads handicap	‘Greek Gift in Splitters Triggered Major’ So it was back to Moonah Links this week for the weekly competition or should I say the second running of the Splitters Triggered Major for 2013, but this time it was the ‘Open Course’ (not the Legends). As was expected, the usual culprits turned up including Don Johnson (lives five minutes from the course), The Bloke (willing to drive anywhere for a game of golf), Thombei the Mist (willing to go anywhere for a cooked breakfast and golf) and Stavros the Greek (willing to be driven anywhere for breakfast and golf). And it is fair to say that the wind was ferocious, having a significant impact on almost every hole. This meant it was anyone’s game because almost every player faltered at some point on the day. As it was, the day proved to be a gift for The Greek who finally prevailed (111,29,82) by a single stroke over The Bloke (103,20,83) who really was the best player on the day. This meant Stavros was presented with the small golden plastic cup like trophy and took out most of the available Bladder points (see updated Bladder), However, the handicaps remained pretty much as they were (see latest handicaps). The committee congratulates Stavros on his most lucky round and reminds members of Lance Armstrong who famously said “I still don't get golf."
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Date: 2/08/2013 Course Yarra Bend, Fairfield, Victoria
The Greek – Winner on nnomads handicap The Bloke – NTP	‘Stavros Stars at Bend’ So finally it was a return to the basics, a return to traditional values, a return to a course that cost less than $35 a round, namely a return to Yarra Bend for the nnomads weekly competition. And as usual it was a sensational day albeit not the Legends, with The Bloke and Stavros the Greek fighting it out for the nnomads weekly competition. And of particular note was Stavros sensational form because he went stroke for stroke with the Bloke throughout the round. In effect Stavros stared at the bend (92,29, 63) because he beat The Bloke by (92,20,72) by a clear 9 strokes, a most unusual occurrence. Mind you The Bloke didn’t miss out on all of the Bladder points taking out the NTP on the day (see updated Bladder). And as was expected this did have a minor effect on the (see latest handicaps). The committee congratulates Stavros the Greek on his sensational round and reminds members of Dave Barry who famously said “Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing."
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Date: 26/07/2013 Course: Moonah Links (Legends Course), Fingal, Victoria
The Bloke – Winner on nnomads handicap	‘Bloke edges out contenders in the Inaugral Splitters Triggered Major’ So it was back to Moonah Links once again (can you see the pattern developing) and again it was the Legend’s course on which The Hanging Judge, The Bloke, Tombei the Mist and Don Johnson fought out the inaugural Splitters Triggered Major for 2013. What event was that you might say and quite rightly so? Never heard of it you might say and where was my invitation!!!! Agreed! But apparently it did occur because The Bloke (97,20,77) edged out The Hanging Judge (101, 23,78) and Thombei the Mist (103,25,78) by a single stroke to win a spectacular trophy for his efforts (or at least a miniature plastic gold cup likely to not cost very much but a cup all the same). This meant that The Bloke earned all of the points on the Bladder (see updated Bladder) while the handicaps remained pretty much as they were (see latest handicaps). The committee congratulates The Bloke on yet another brilliant performance and reminds members of Bertrand Russell who famously said “The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf."
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Date: 22/07/2013 Course: Royal Freemantle Golf Club, Freemantle, Western Australia
Mild Colonial Boy – Winner on nnomads handicap and NTP	‘Mild Maintains the Mantle’ Don’t say that the nnomads weekly competition doesn’t travel because this week it was held at Royal Freemantle Golf Club albeit with only two competitors. Yes the competition finally got back to Western Australia where the Mild Colonial Boy and Stavros the Greek fought it out at this most prestigious of golf clubs. Well fought it out might be a bit of an exaggeration because Mild (94, 20, 74) was in front from start to finish and also took out the NTP. And despite his moaning about his handicap being 24 (not 18 as listed on the ‘nnomads website), it didn’t really matter because Stavros (using The Dream’s golf clubs) just was never in the running. This meant that Mild took all of the points on the Bladder (see updated Bladder) while the handicaps remained pretty much as they were (see latest handicaps). The committee congratulates The Mild Colonial Boy on his convincing performance and reminds members of Tiger Woods who famously said “Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
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Date: 8/07/2013 Course: Moonah Links (Legends Course), Fingal, Victoria
Nurse Min – Winner on nnomads handicap and NTP Thombei - Second on nnomads handicap	‘Nurse Does over the Legend” So this week was a sign of what was to come in that Moonah Links has suddenly become a popular destination for the nnomads weekly competition. This is in part because Moonah Links is one of Australia’s better quality golf courses, in part because Moonah Links claims to be the home of Australian golf, in part because of the cut price deal they have been offering during the winter months and in part because the course is located five minutes from Don Johnson’s place. This week’s competition saw four contenders turn up including Don Johnson (do tell), Nurse Min (who was finally available), Thombei the Mist (who was working close by at the time) and Stavros the Greek (who wanted to know what the Splitters were up to). As it was, it proved to be a tough competition for most of the round until Nurse Min (110,35,75) finally prevailed over The Mist by a single stroke. To provce the point Nurse Min also took out the NTP to show he was well in control of the Legends Course that afternoon. That means Nurse Min took most of the points on the Bladder (see updated Bladder) while the handicaps remained pretty much as they were (see latest handicaps). The committee congratulates Nurse Min and The Mist on their spectacular games and reminds members of Andy Rooney who famously said “Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.”
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Date: and 17/06/2013 and 21/06/2013 Course 1: Moonah Links, Mornington Peninsular, Victoria Course 2: Yarra Bend, Fairfield Peninsular, Victoria
The Bloke – Winner on nnomads handicap Thombei - Winner on nnomads handicap	‘Thombei doesn’t Mist while the Bloke goes Greek’ Well there were two games this week, one at each end of the week (Monday and Friday) but the Committee is not happy that members are not playing together in the weekly competition (bloody splitters). As a result, the event PR department has been instructed by the committee to report on these competitions as a single foursome (a virtual foursome). And that is lucky because the detail reported from these events was almost zero. For example, the results from The Legends Course at Moonah Links was as little as: Thombei The Mist - 70 strokes, Don Johnson - 88 strokes, No NTP. “Lovely course even tho it rained all day, I mean ALL day didn't stop for a second. Not even a brief respite. Should do a deal and get the nnomads in there. It’s pricey so need a big Scoupon purchase next time. Mist Out Similarly, the report from Yarra Bend wasn’t much better … The Bloke - 96 and Stavros the Greek – 108. Bloke on top at the end. A beautiful thing….!’ Love Daisy Now for the uninformed, that can be interpreted as Thombei the Mist (95, 25, 70) easily outdid Don Johnson (109, 21,88) at Yarra Moonah Links Bend with The Bloke in first and second place (96, 20,76) easily displacing Stavros the Greek (108,29,89) in last place. That means The Mist and The Bloke took the points on the Bladder (see updated Bladder) while the handicaps remained pretty much as they were (see latest handicaps). The committee congratulates The Mist and The Bloke on their impressive performances and reminds members of Bruce Lansky who famously said “We learn so many things from golf - how to suffer, for instance."
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Date: 24/05/2013 Course: RACV Cape Schanck Resort, Cape Schanck, Victoria
Nana – Winner on nnomads handicap and NTP Thombei - NTP	‘The Bloke goes Nana’ Well there was a much better turn out for this weekly competition played at Cape Schanck Resort on the Mornington Peninsular which isn’t surprising because of the great interest in seeing The Blokes new glasses! Yes Stavros the Greek, Don Johnson and Thombei The Mist were all there to see the unveiling of the new glasses on the 1^st tee and most were fairly controlled about their immediate association with Nana Mouskouri. “I just thought the ‘Nana look’ should be making a comeback and besides now I can see my ball” stated The Bloke rather defensively as the rest of the tour were rolling around the ground in fits of laughter. Well they weren’t laughing for too long as The Bloke racked up par after par gaining an eight stroke lead by the half way mark. Thombei also did well after his six month break from the game while Don and Stavros were floundering all over the course. And that’s how it ended up with the Bloke (91,20,71) easily taking out the day from Thombei in 2^nd place (102,25,77). The Bloke also took out the NTP giving himself the biggest boost on the Bladder (see updated Bladder) while the handicaps remained pretty much as they were (see latest handicaps). The committee congratulates The Bloke on his impressive performance and reminds members of Winston Churchill who famously said "Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.”
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Date: 17/05/2013 Course: Yarra Bend, Fairfield, Victoria
Stavros – Winner on nnomads handicap The Bloke - NTP	‘The Greek Triumphs Again’ Once again there were only two contenders in the weekly competition at Yarra Bend this week and once again it was Stavros the Greek and The Bloke. That is not to say others didn’t want to play. For example, a text from Curtis said ‘You lucky lucky Bastards’ while one from the Cardinal said ‘Bloody Dole Bludgers’. A further text from Rubber Man summed it all up ‘No can do Tony because Yarra Bend is not a Club Club’. Within this context, Stavros and The Bloke joined up with a real golfer (Steve – a ring in off the street) who showed what a 14 handicapper could do. But that didn’t stop the pair of nnomads who showed the real golfer what nnomads could do (hmmmmmm….). Once again, there was nothing between the nnomads pair after the first nine (almost equal on handicap with the ring in well in front). Then Stavros put in a few pars (104, 28, 76) and The Bloke fell off the pace (105, 20, 85), although he did take out the NTP on the 4^th. This meant Stavros took out this week’s prize ball but both gained at least some bladder points (see updated Bladder). In terms of handicaps and despite the winning performance, Stavros went out while the Bloke stayed the same (see latest handicaps). The committee congratulates The Greek on yet another win over the Bloke and reminds members of Tiger Woods who famously said "Achievements on the golf course are not what matters, decency and honesty are what matter.”
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Date: 3/05/2013 Course: Sandringham Golf Course , Sandringham, Victoria
Stavros – Winner on nnomads handicap	‘Stavros edges out the Bloke’ Surprisingly, there were only two contenders in the weekly competition held at Sandringham that week being Stavros the Greek and The Bloke. The competition proved to be fierce none the less as was the wind (fierce was not an understatement). There was nothing in it at the turn (equal on handicap) as the two players stepped onto the fabulous Sandringham second nine (clearly the better of the two nines) and this pattern persisted right up until the last hole, at which point The Bloke (96,20,76) fell on his arse to hand the prize ball and bladder points to an extremely happy Stavros (100, 28,72), the winner on the day (see updated Bladder). There was little impact on handicaps (see latest handicaps). The committee congratulates Stavros on a spectacular win and reminds members of Mark Twain who famously said “It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.”
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Date: 22/02/2013 Course: Moorak Golf Course, Vermont, Victoria
The Bloke – Winner on nnomads handicap Stavros – 2^nd on nnomads handicap	‘Bloke Racks Up Another One There were four players in the group that teed off at Moorak on that warm and humid Friday morning including Don Johnson, Slugger, Stavros and The Bloke. All were somewhat surprised at the nice condition of the course although Slugger was more familiar than most having played there a couple of weeks previously. But none were surprised at the consistently sensational performance exhibited by the Bloke. He was six strokes ahead of the nearest player after the first nine and twelve strokes ahead at the end of the round. When handicaps were considered The Bloke ended up a very respectable one under the card (88,19,69), a full four strokes in front of the next contender Stavros (100,27,73). As no one took out the NTP, this meant The Bloke again took out the majority of Bladder points with Stavros getting a minor boost (see updated Bladder). There was little impact on handicaps (see latest handicaps). The committee congratulates The Bloke on yet another win and reminds members of HG Wells who famously said "The uglier a man’s legs are the better he play golf.”
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Date: 25/01/2013 Course: Yarra Bend, Fairfield, Victoria
The Bloke – Winner on handicap Stavros - NTP	‘Bloke Bends Again’ There was a particularly competitive edge in the first weekly competition for 2013. This was because soon to be nnomads Golf Club Champion Stavros faced off against reigning and soon to be last year’s club champion The Bloke at Yarra Bend. So it didn’t take long for the scores to reflect the close competition it was. At the turn Stavros was in front by three strokes, at the 17th The Bloke was in front by two strokes and it all came down to the last putt at which point The Bloke (92,19,73) took out the game by a single stroke over Stavros (101,27,74). This meant that The Bloke took the first Bladder points for 2013 followed closely by Stavros who took out the NTP (see updated Bladder). Neither performance had any impact on their handicaps (see latest handicaps). The committee congratulates The Bloke on his first weekly competition win of the year and reminds members of Muhammad Ali who famously said "I’m the best. I just haven’t played yet.”
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