2005 off to a Flying Start

 

Stavros the Greek

 

Pup

 

Nurse Min

 

The Bloke

 

GMAC

The nnomads Golf Club league ladder year to date 31st of January 2005 has now been released and the results have really got the members talking.

Year Starts at A Frenetic Pace: Well, the 2005 year has begun, and already there has been a flurry of golfing activity. Since New Year, events have been held at The Growling Frog, Yarra Bend (multiple times), Bright, Ringwood, and Yarrambat. In addition, cards have been submitted from as far away as Mount Beauty in Victoria, and California in the USA. “Well, surprise, surprise, surprise ,,,,” commented Thombi with a Gomer Pile type accent. “Don is still playing golf once per week! We should have broken his arm before he left to slow him down.

16 Players on The Ladder Already: Well Thombei shouldn’t have been worried because Don (last year’s winner) is way down the list at the end of January [particularly due to the recent rule change where the event bonus for cards played and submitted from an overseas location has been reduced from 1 point to 0.5 points per game]. “That will make it harder for the bastard.” stated Nurse Min as the rule change was formalised over a beer at the last committee meeting. “What else could we do to stop him winning again in 2005.” agreed Stavros as he ordered another energy drink. “But it won’t matter because the competition will be stiffer in 2005.” observed Curtis when asked to comment on the situation. In fact, at the end of January there were already 16 players on the nnomads Golf Club league ladder and 8 of those had won at least 1 ball. At this stage Don Johnson is struggling in the midfield (although he has played in two official events this calendar year). “At least I don’t have to come back until 2006. I’ve played in two 2005 events so I can go home now.” commented Don as he left for the airport in early January. The front runner Stavros (top of the ladder) has already earned 16 points, with Curtis (13 points) and Pup (11 Points) close behind. A solid midfield follows the leading group which includes The Cardinal (7 points), The Bloke (6 points), Rubber Man S (6 points), Nurse Min (5 points) and the Hanging Judge (4 points), who have all won at least one ball since the beginning of the year.

Some Promising Performances: The strike rate statistics reveal some very promising performances. Stavros has played in 4 competition events so far and has won an average of 1 ball per game (100% strike rate). Similarly, Pup has played in 3 events and has won a ball at each of them (100% strike rate) while Curtis has played in 6 events, winning a ball at half of them (50% strike rate). Not to be outdone, The Cardinal has only played in one competition event and has won 2 balls for his efforts (200% strike rate) and the Hanging Judge won a ball on his only outing for the year (100% strike rate). Also, The Bloke, Nurse Min and Rubber Man have all played in three events and each won one ball (33% strike rate). “And all that by the 31st of January. Now that is frenetic activity.” volunteered GMAC. “We’ve never been that active in January before". "I think it’s the Iraq election. It puts you in the mood for golf.” Observed both The Very Reverend Arch Deacon Wing Commander "Iron Guts Crossinski" (Ret.), and the Spiritual Head of the Sloth Christian Militia (SCM) "Jeremiah Crossinski".

Handicap Reviews: So why is Pup, Rubber Man and the Hanging Judge doing so well in 2005? Well, you may ask because these guys have been the subject of a handicap review [Note: Any player who doesn’t play to his handicap in a 12-month period / calendar year, may request a review of their handicap, based on cards submitted. These guys did. And they all have done very well. For example, Pup’s 18 hole handicap has moved out from 16 to 22 strokes and Rubber Man’s has moved from 19 to 23 strokes. In addition, The Hanging Judge went out from 20 to 24 strokes. “What a bloody gift.” complained Curtis. “I’ve played with these bastards and they don’t deserve a review. You ought to see Pup’s 1 iron when he gets it going, and Rubber Man can put it on the green at the 5th at Yarra Bend.” he added as he realised the implications of the decisions.

Transparent Review Process: Now GMAC assured all attendees at the media release, that the handicap review process had been ‘fair, transparent and above board.’ [NOTE: The nnomads Golf Club handicap system is totally coordinated and controlled by GMAC. GMAC collects and collates the scores from each game. GMAC writes the software that calculates the handicaps. GMAC sets the parameters within which the program operates. GMAC keeps the records over time. “GMAC makes any adjustments he f___ing likes. It’s a black box. Who knows what he does with the calculations.” added The Bloke when he heard the outcomes of the review.] “Look it is all extremely simple.” explained GMAC. “All I did was take an average of the last 10 cards, but that was too high. So I took an average of the five most recent cards. But that was also too high. So, I took an average of the 5 best cards over the last two years. Now that was better but still a bit too high. Using this as a base I applied sophisticated statistical techniques to calculate an adjustment factor". While for some the statistical techniques used may be hard to grasp, the following is an example. “Rubber Man comes out on 27, err no! He can pull a good game on occasions, and The Bloke is only on 22, Ok so let’s make it errrrhh (swoosh in the background then thud!!) errrhhh where are my glasses, ah there… yes  4 that means…23.” (… As he picks up the dart again, in readiness to repeat the analysis for the next decision).

Shaping Up to Be a Good Year: Members and Associates, 2005 is well underway but it is early days. There are 11 months to go and a variety of events and competitions to contest (see 2005 calendar for critical dates). There are a number of people showing some early form, but experience shows that you never know who will prevail at the end of the year. 2004 was the perfect example, where Don Johnson, the eventual winner, wasn’t even on the ladder for the first four months of the year. So, get active members and Associates. You can win from here (even if you haven’t started to play this year). Submit your score for any game you play. Or get a group together, pay the $1.00 per player fee, and get into the official competition [and get balls for winner and NTP]. “You can do it from anywhere. Even from ‘off the planet places’ like South Australia or the ACT.” reinforced GMAC when asked how to do it. “You just enter the scores on the nnomads Golf Club web site and I’ll do the rest.” The Club committee wants to thank GMAC for his significant contribution to the nnomads Golf Club in 2004, acting as both ongoing Keeper of Records and as ongoing Club Treasurer. “Yeah, and it’s ongoing because we can’t get the money away from him.” grumbled The Captain at the last committee meeting (still fuming at the limited refreshment budget allocated by GMAC to the SHIT in December 2005). “Yeah, but look at it like this Captain, the Club always has a positive balance in the teapot.” retorted Freddie Five Iron. And on that positive, note the committee wants to encourage all members and associates to actively participate in 2005 club activities from wherever they are. Get out on the course and remember – Golf sans Frontieres!

 

Curtis

 

The Cardinal

 

Rubber Man

 

The Hanging Judge

 

 

Ladder 31st January 2005

Name

Cards

Comp Event

Event Bonus

1st

2nd

NTP

Total Balls

Strike Rate

Points

Stavros the Greek

8

4

 

4

 

 

4

100%

16.0

Curtis

12

6

 

1

 

2

3

50%

13.0

Pup

6

3

 

2

 

1

3

100%

11.0

The Cardinal

2

1

 

2

 

 

2

200%

7.0

The Bloke

6

3

 

1

 

 

1

33%

6.0

Rubber Man

6

3

 

1

 

 

1

33%

6.0

Nurse Min

6

3

 

 

 

1

1

33%

5.0

The Hanging Judge

2

1

 

1

 

 

1

100%

4.0

Don Johnson

6

2

0.5

 

 

 

0

0%

3.5

Freddie Five Iron

6

3

 

 

 

 

0

0%

3.0

GMAC

6

3

 

 

 

 

0

0%

3.0

Thombei the Mist

4

2

 

 

 

 

0

0%

2.0

Markus Octavious

2

1

 

 

 

 

0

0%

1.0

Peter M

2

1

 

 

 

 

0

0%

1.0

Andi

1

0

 

 

 

 

0

0%

0.5

Turbo T

1

0

 

 

 

 

0

0%

0.5