2005 off to a Flying Start
|
Stavros the Greek
Pup
Nurse Min
GMAC |
The nnomads Golf Club league ladder
year to date 31st of January 2005 has now been released and the
results have really got the members talking. Year Starts at A Frenetic Pace: Well, the 2005 year has begun, and already there has been a
flurry of golfing activity. Since New Year, events have been held at The
Growling Frog, Yarra Bend (multiple times), Bright, Ringwood, and Yarrambat.
In addition, cards have been submitted from as far away as Mount Beauty in
Victoria, and California in the USA. “Well,
surprise, surprise, surprise ,,,,” commented Thombi with a Gomer Pile type accent. “Don is still playing golf once per week!
We should have broken his arm before he
left to slow him down.” 16 Players on The Ladder Already: Well Thombei
shouldn’t have been worried because Don (last year’s winner) is way down the
list at the end of January [particularly due to the recent rule change
where the event bonus for cards played and submitted from an overseas
location has been reduced from 1 point
to 0.5 points per game]. “That
will make it harder for the bastard.” stated Nurse Min as the rule change
was formalised over a beer at the last committee meeting. “What else could we do to stop him winning
again in 2005.” agreed Stavros as he ordered another energy drink. “But it won’t matter because the
competition will be stiffer in 2005.” observed Curtis when asked to
comment on the situation. In fact, at the end of January there were already
16 players on the nnomads Golf Club league ladder
and 8 of those had won at least 1 ball. At this stage Don Johnson is
struggling in the midfield (although he has played in two official events
this calendar year). “At least I don’t
have to come back until 2006. I’ve played in two 2005 events so I can go home
now.” commented Don as he left for the airport in early January. The
front runner Stavros (top of the ladder) has already earned 16 points, with Curtis
(13 points) and Pup (11 Points) close behind. A solid midfield follows the
leading group which includes The Cardinal (7 points), The Bloke (6 points), Rubber
Man S (6 points), Nurse Min (5 points) and the Hanging Judge (4 points), who
have all won at least one ball since the beginning of the year. Some Promising Performances: The
strike rate statistics reveal some very promising performances. Stavros has
played in 4 competition events so far and has won an average of 1 ball per
game (100% strike rate). Similarly, Pup has played in 3 events and has won a
ball at each of them (100% strike rate) while Curtis has played in 6 events,
winning a ball at half of them (50% strike rate). Not to be outdone, The
Cardinal has only played in one competition event and has won 2 balls for his
efforts (200% strike rate) and the Hanging Judge won a ball on his only
outing for the year (100% strike rate). Also, The Bloke, Nurse Min and Rubber
Man have all played in three events and each won one ball (33% strike rate). “And all that by the 31st of
January. Now that is frenetic activity.” volunteered GMAC. “We’ve never been that active in January
before". "I think it’s
the Iraq election. It puts you in the mood for golf.” Observed both The
Very Reverend Arch Deacon Wing Commander "Iron Guts Crossinski" (Ret.), and
the Spiritual Head of the Sloth Christian Militia (SCM) "Jeremiah Crossinski". Handicap Reviews: So why is Pup,
Rubber Man and the Hanging Judge doing so well in 2005? Well, you may ask
because these guys have been the subject of a handicap review [Note: Any
player who doesn’t play to his handicap in a 12-month period / calendar year,
may request a review of their handicap, based on cards submitted. These guys
did. And they all have done very well. For example, Pup’s 18
hole handicap has moved out from 16 to 22 strokes and Rubber Man’s has
moved from 19 to 23 strokes. In addition, The Hanging Judge went out from 20
to 24 strokes. “What a bloody gift.”
complained Curtis. “I’ve played with
these bastards and they don’t deserve a review. You ought to see Pup’s 1 iron
when he gets it going, and Rubber Man can put it on the green at the 5th
at Yarra Bend.” he added as he realised the implications of the
decisions. Transparent Review Process: Now GMAC
assured all attendees at the media release, that the handicap review process
had been ‘fair, transparent and above
board.’ [NOTE: The nnomads Golf Club handicap
system is totally coordinated and controlled by GMAC. GMAC collects and
collates the scores from each game. GMAC writes the software that calculates
the handicaps. GMAC sets the parameters within which the program operates. GMAC
keeps the records over time. “GMAC
makes any adjustments he f___ing likes. It’s a
black box. Who knows what he does with the calculations.” added The Bloke
when he heard the outcomes of the review.] “Look it is all extremely simple.”
explained GMAC. “All I did was take an
average of the last 10 cards, but that was too high. So
I took an average of the five most recent cards. But that was also too high. So,
I took an average of the 5 best cards over the last two years. Now that was
better but still a bit too high. Using this as a base I applied sophisticated
statistical techniques to calculate an adjustment factor". While for
some the statistical techniques used may be hard to grasp, the following is
an example. “Rubber Man comes out on
27, err no! He can pull a good game on occasions, and The Bloke is only on
22, Ok so let’s make it errrrhh (swoosh in the
background then thud!!) errrhhh where are my glasses, ah there… yes 4 that
means…23.” (… As he picks up the dart again, in readiness to repeat the
analysis for the next decision). Shaping Up to Be a Good Year:
Members and Associates, 2005 is well underway but it is early days. There are
11 months to go and a variety of events and competitions to contest (see 2005
calendar for critical dates). There are a number of people showing some early
form, but experience shows that you never know who will prevail at the end of
the year. 2004 was the perfect example, where Don Johnson, the eventual
winner, wasn’t even on the ladder for the first four months of the year. So,
get active members and Associates. You can win from here (even if you haven’t
started to play this year). Submit your score for any game you play. Or get a
group together, pay the $1.00 per player fee, and get into the official
competition [and get balls for winner and NTP]. “You can do it from anywhere. Even from ‘off the planet places’ like
South Australia or the ACT.” reinforced GMAC when asked how to do it. “You just enter the scores on the nnomads Golf Club web site and I’ll do the rest.” The Club committee wants to thank GMAC for
his significant contribution to the nnomads Golf
Club in 2004, acting as both ongoing Keeper
of Records and as ongoing Club
Treasurer. “Yeah, and it’s ongoing
because we can’t get the money away from him.” grumbled The Captain at
the last committee meeting (still fuming at the limited refreshment budget
allocated by GMAC to the SHIT in December 2005). “Yeah, but look at it like this Captain, the Club always has a
positive balance in the teapot.” retorted Freddie Five Iron. And on that
positive, note the committee wants to encourage all members and associates to
actively participate in 2005 club activities from wherever they are. Get out
on the course and remember – Golf sans Frontieres! |
Curtis
The Cardinal
Rubber Man
|
Ladder
|
Name |
Cards |
Comp
Event |
Event
Bonus |
1st |
2nd |
NTP |
Total
Balls |
Strike
Rate |
Points |
|
Stavros the Greek |
8 |
4 |
|
4 |
|
|
4 |
100% |
16.0 |
|
Curtis |
12 |
6 |
|
1 |
|
2 |
3 |
50% |
13.0 |
|
Pup |
6 |
3 |
|
2 |
|
1 |
3 |
100% |
11.0 |
|
The Cardinal |
2 |
1 |
|
2 |
|
|
2 |
200% |
7.0 |
|
The Bloke |
6 |
3 |
|
1 |
|
|
1 |
33% |
6.0 |
|
Rubber Man |
6 |
3 |
|
1 |
|
|
1 |
33% |
6.0 |
|
Nurse Min |
6 |
3 |
|
|
|
1 |
1 |
33% |
5.0 |
|
The Hanging Judge |
2 |
1 |
|
1 |
|
|
1 |
100% |
4.0 |
|
Don Johnson |
6 |
2 |
0.5 |
|
|
|
0 |
0% |
3.5 |
|
Freddie Five Iron |
6 |
3 |
|
|
|
|
0 |
0% |
3.0 |
|
GMAC |
6 |
3 |
|
|
|
|
0 |
0% |
3.0 |
|
Thombei the Mist |
4 |
2 |
|
|
|
|
0 |
0% |
2.0 |
|
Markus Octavious |
2 |
1 |
|
|
|
|
0 |
0% |
1.0 |
|
Peter M |
2 |
1 |
|
|
|
|
0 |
0% |
1.0 |
|
Andi |
1 |
0 |
|
|
|
|
0 |
0% |
0.5 |
|
Turbo T |
1 |
0 |
|
|
|
|
0 |
0% |
0.5 |