And They Took Up The Challenge Once Again..

Judas, Ezekiel, GMAC and Jeremiah Isaac, Solomon, Abraham and Osama Iron Guts handing Osama the Tequila Challenge Cup for 2004 Osama on the 4^th fairway

THE BEST EVER: Last year they said the PUTSI Training Camp was "gruellingly realistic". This year The Very Reverend Arch Deacon Wing Commander, "Iron Guts Crossinski" (Ret.) and Spiritual Head of the Sloth Christian Militia (SCM), Jeremiah Crossinski (no relation) declared it the best ever! Saturday May 29^th 2004 will always be remembered as one of those events you really had to be at. As usual, the Pre UralbaTraining Session Invitational limbered up with Tequila Challenge Cup training exercises on the Saturday afternoon. Notable Absences: There were a number of notable MIAs from this year’s event (“Nurse Min, Fredie Five Iron, The Bloke, Cam, Billy Bob Thornton, The Hanging Judge, Thombei the Mist, Turbo, Robyn 1, Robin 2, The Captain, J, Curtis, Rubber Masn, Pup, The Maroon Breasted Warbler, Markus Octavious and The Cardinal to name a few, although The Cardinal as the original founder of the PUTSI concept, was not expected to turn up, enabling him to maintain his 100% non-attendance record (2 years in a row). Listen Stavros. I can win the Uralba Open without the training. The PUTSI is for those that need the practice he said at the last committee meeting. Despite those Missing in Action, a full complement of 12 competitors assembled around the starting area for final instructions. Ladies and Gentleman, Lick, Sip, Suck": Iron Guts belched, as he patiently demonstrated the technique to Jimmy Jihad Jnr, Osama and the other Islamist Golf Association (IGA) delegates. New Faces Set the Pace: Three very competitive groups teed off progressively after the obligatory one tequila per hole before starting rule. (Note: Last year there were only 7 holes. This year the course had the full 9 holes making the event particularly harrowing.) It is very difficult for we Muslims. You try finding Mecca after 9 tequilas. Osama was heard commenting to Ezekiel on the first tee. Judas, Ezekiel, “GMAC and Jeremiah were the first group away with Isaac, Solomon, Abraham and Osama close behind. Iron Guts, Stavros, Jacob and Jimmy Jihad Junior followed up in the final group. Comrade Chris maintained control on course, recording the event on camera for the video referees to consult after the event. Osama Set the Early Pace: While Stavros got in under the trees (as usual he did the same thing last year), Osama, playing off a handicap of 5, started his round with a birdie and two holes in one. He hit one hole in one right-handed, and the other left-handed, a flabbergasted GMAC was heard saying on the third tee. Osama’s partner, Jimmy Jihad Junior, on a handicap of 4, also had a great start, with three birdies in a row. Nicknamed ‘Poison' he had a most unusual swing (see swing analysis at end of article), although it proved to be an award winner in the final analysis (see results). And then Blasts Them Away: At the end of the round, the scores were in fact very close indeed. Osama took out the event with a gross score of 32 and a net score of 27 (3 under). Jimmy Jihad Junior came in one stroke behind (32/28) and 2 under, with GMAC (43/30) and Abraham (Abe) (42/30), even with the card. The rest of the field were only strokes behind, illustrating the quality of the golf played on the day. We will be waging a holy war in Canberra this year. Crossinski mumbled as he handed Osama the PUTSI Tequila Challenge Cup. May Allah be with you. replied Osama, whilst dedicating the cup to an obscure golf training camp in the Middle East. Jimmy Junior drives a Jihad as Abe pins them down: Jimmy Jihad Junior's swing was the talk of the course. He hit the longest drive on the first, and then circulated a threat of some type (the players won’t say a thing about what happened). The result was no other player even went near his drive (some didn’t even seem to attempt to get near it). Despite the controversy, Jimmy was presented the longest drive trophy for 2004, in front of an enthusiastic crowd. On ya Poison. Jacob was heard yelling. Jacob and Jimmy struck up quite a friendship on the course, despite their differing views on what should replace the Twin Towers at Drummond Zero, (both their tents were blown down during Friday night). Abraham took out the nearest the pin by popping in a Hole in One. Well you can’t get closer than that. said "The Reverend" as he handed Abe the NTP trophy for 2004. Yeah well I’ve had a lot of sighting practice when I did service in the West Bank.Abe noted as he laid hands on "Iron Guts" during the ceremony. Sunday Practice Cancelled: The quality of the golf on the Saturday was of such a standard (over half of the players were equal or better than par), that the committee decided to cancel the Sunday event. The Very Reverend Arch Deacon Wing Commander Jethro Crossinski (Ret.) closed proceedings by declaring the PUTSI 2004 an unprecedented success. In the long history of the PUTSI, there have never been so many brilliant scores. Congratulations to all combatants. This year really was the best ever PUTSI. He belched reverentially, while the devout cheered and applauded. The committee wants to thank Iron Guts and Comrade Chris once again for access to their weapons, technology and ammunition. The PUTSI really came of age this year, meaning that next year the event is a must not miss. Members and Devotees, Put it in your Calendar!

Iron Guts, Stavros, Jacob and Jimmy Jihad Iron Guts handing Jihad Jimmy (poison) the TCC Longest Drive for 2004 Iron Guts presentating Abe the TCC Nearest the pin trophy for 2004 Osama on the 3^rd tee

Results PUTSI Tequila Challenge Cup 2004

Course	Player	Gross Score	Handicap	Net Score
Drummond Base	Osama	32	5	27
Drummond Base	Jimmy Jihad Junior	32	4	28
Drummond Base	Abraham	42	12	30
Drummond Base	GMAC	43	13	30
Drummond Base	Jacob	39	8	31
Drummond Base	Stavros	45	13	32
Drummond Base	Ezekiel	48	16	32
Drummond Base	Iron Guts	53	20	33
Drummond Base	Jeremiah	46	13	33
Drummond Base	Isaac	45	10	35
Drummond Base	Judas	46	11	35
Drummond Base	Solomon	48	10	38

‘Poison’s’ unusual swing nets him the longest drive