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Markus Displaces The Host To Take The
Inaugural PUTSI 700
March 5th 2003,
Drummond Base HQ: The Pre
Uralba Training Session Invitational (PUTSI) was played at DrummondBase HQ earlier this month. Consistent with the
Victorian strategic game plan for this year’s Uralba Open, an elite group of
golfing commandos played simulated golf games and discussed bush game tactics
at the club’s secret training base in central Victoria. DrummondBase
HQ proved to be an excellent training venue and clearly the nnomads Golf Club is better prepared for this years trek to Canberra. Gruellingly
Realistic Particular
emphasis was placed on training for the Yarra Uralba Tequila Challenge Cup.
The Captain was deputised by Flight Lt Sgt. Crossinski and
subsequently led the pre-event warm up session (above left). To ensure
training was authentic, the "One Hole, One Tequila" concept
was devised and implemented. This set the scene for all on course activities,
though it took some time for all players that made the cut (7 tequilas), to
struggle to the first tee. “Iron
Guts” Crossinski - A Hard Task Master Flight
Lt Sgt. Jethro “Iron Guts” Crossinski
(not shown) coordinated the on-course drill, pushing the 6 combatants to the
extreme over the 7-hole course. The Photographer, took to eating lemon to
sweeten the conversation; such was the impact of Crossinski’s
training approach. Despite this, all six nominated players managed to tee off
(basically attempted to hit a ball off a tee in a nominated direction) – “That
pile of rocks left of the shadow 100 meters beyond the big gum 50 meters down
the middle. You can’t miss it!” belched “Iron Guts” Early
Casualties Eventually
The Captain courageously led the group away on the first. But it didn’t take
long before casualties were apparent. Stavros the Greek was out in the
boondocks almost immediately (right) blowing his chances away on the first
hole with a 7. This set his pattern for the remaining six holes. The
Judges Were Kept Busy GMAC
illustrated the art of disputing the referee’s judgement on a preferred
lie You have got to be F------ joking ref. It’s an immovable object
you jerk! He politely yelled at the Uralba official (they're
everywhere). All participants were impressed with the strength of his
delivery and subsequently practised the skills throughout the event (yelling
at small trees, kicking stumps, accusing crows/ants of stealing the ball, and
the like). Playoff
to Determine Winner Freddie
Five Iron (36), GMAC (36) and Stavros the Greek (37) were not in the running
at the end of the day. The Captain (33) was closer
to the pace. But Markus Octavious (30) and
Iron-Guts (31) were equal after handicaps were applied. A
playoff was undertaken reluctantly, resulting in the host being displaced in
his own inaugural event. Markus beat him by a stroke to become the inaugural
winner of the PUTSI. “If you want to be a serious contender at these
events you must not play golf.” Octavious
observed philosophically. “I can bugger my elbow just as easily in
the garden as on a golf course.” "Iron
Guts” Crossinski had little to say immediately
after the playoff but was later reported mumbling while pointing at the
shed, “Someone could sleep there”. |
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Course |
ACR |
Date |
Player |
Score |
Hcp |
Net |
|
Drummond Base |
15 |
3/5/2003 |
Iron Guts Crossinski |
31 |
14 |
17 |
|
Drummond Base |
15 |
3/5/2003 |
Markus Octavious |
30 |
13 |
17 |
|
Drummond Base |
15 |
3/5/2003 |
The Captain |
33 |
13 |
20 |
|
Drummond Base |
15 |
3/5/2003 |
Freddie Five Iron |
36 |
10 |
26 |
|
Drummond Base |
15 |
3/5/2003 |
GMac |
36 |
9 |
27 |
|
Drummond Base |
15 |
3/5/2003 |
Stavros the Greek |
37 |
9 |
28 |